I’m quite aware that forgiveness is something that the world doesn’t promote these days; it’s often seen as a weakness or “letting an undeserving person win” just because it fights against all impulses of the flesh. We seem to be encouraged to hold grudges and retaliate because “someone did […] to me”, but in actual fact it has no connection to weakness or even to emotions, Instead, forgiveness is an act of the will. Forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. No one deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a deliberate act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness truly has the power to set us free, but on the other hand, when we cling to resentment, we unknowingly give our offender ongoing power over our hearts, which keeps us enslaved to our anger.

Suffering in the world can be inconceivable; hurt and trauma that comes in result of cases such as abuse is something that sticks with people for a lifetime; the emotional repercussions can be absolutely devastating and cause significant impairment in life, work or social functioning. Anger, resentment, bitterness are all understandable emotions that come in result of this but God does not want us to stay in that place forever, let alone let you be ruled by these emotions. Processing and healing will take time, a network of support in the community- counsellors, family members, pastors, the church community is important in the recovery process and of course God who is our ultimate Healer and Counsellor; David wrote, “From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy” (Psalm 61:2–3). It is our responsibility to exercise faith in God, to stay in the Word, to cry out to God in prayer, and to maintain fellowship with other believers. We go to God in our distress and make use of the resources He provides; its in these times that He will make you stronger and turn your trials into a testimony.

Understandably so; forgiveness is so difficult, but God gives us great reasons to forgive: we forgive because He first forgave us: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). We forgive because God crushed his Son for our forgiveness. He canceled “the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This He set aside, nailing it to the cross” (Colossians 2:14).

There are many definitions of forgiveness, but simply put: Forgiveness means refusing to retaliate or hold bitterness against people for the ways they have wounded us. Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what was done to you. When i finally accepted Christ into my life I vividly remember forgiveness feeling absolutely impossible and definitely unnatural, to say the least. It felt like a burden and was as if i was giving out a ‘get out of jail free card’, (although at this point- the only one who was imprisoned was me through no fault of my own). At this point i was completely stuck, i could do nothing more but cry out to God for His help to even know where to start. It was evident forgiveness is costly; In the Bible, it involves shedding blood (Hebrews 9:22), and honestly that first step feels like death in many ways but at the same time unforgivness was the one thing destroying me in a more subtle way from the inside out. Even so, my resistance showed me how deeply I needed God’s help in order to truly forgive and be able to even start to heal, move on and be set free.

Forgiveness is not saying that sin doesn’t matter, or approving of what the other person has done, neither is it minimising the offence, or denying we’ve been wronged. Forgiveness is acknowledging that the other person has sinned against us and may never be able to make it right. The apostle Paul writes, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). If God in Christ forgave us, then forgiving someone cannot mean diminishing the wrong they’ve done. God could never do that with sin and remain just. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation or restoration and it does not require restoring trust or inviting the people who hurt us back into a relationship; (legal steps may also have to be put into place for your safety and others). Forgiving people doesn’t mean they won’t experience consequences for their sin; even though we should never wish bad things to happen to anyone, we leave those consequences to God, who says, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” (Romans 12:19).

In response to this, to truly forgive those who have wronged us we must first receive God’s forgiveness, acknowledging our need before him, which empowers us to forgive others. Christian. Forgiveness is vertical before it is horizontal: throughout Scripture, our Lord intertwines His forgiveness of us with our forgiveness of others (Matthew 6:14–15). And like all of his commands, it is always for our good.

Satan loathes forgiveness. Forgiveness offends everything he stands for and fights against. He relentlessly accuses – morning, afternoon, evening, and night -hurling our sins, like stones, against us (Revelation 12:10).
He is the accuser and therefore forgiveness is his sworn enemy.
Forgiveness contradicts his existence.
Forgiveness defies his life’s work. To him, forgiveness is hostility.
…That means to withhold forgiveness is to play into Satan’s hands, to reinforce his war, to join his cause.
To withhold forgiveness is an attempted suicide of the soul.
BUT GOD… Through the cross “He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him” (Colossians 2:15).
God disarmed Satan and all his armies with costly forgiveness.
Knowing who Satan was, what he wants and how he works; God chose to fight, not with a fist or vengeance; but with a broken body and spilled blood. God chose to forgive. To forgive us! And so we too forgive “so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs”.
Forgiveness is hostility to Satan because he breeds hostility and despises peace. The cross tormented him, a nightmare worse than anything in his wicked imagination. Therefore: every act of forgiveness since – every time we defy our flesh and forgive one another in Jesus’s name- it is another tremor of that trauma that satan experienced- he hates it.
Jesus calls us to forgive not just once, but tirelessly. “Pay attention to yourselves!” he warns. “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him” (Luke 17:3–4). In response to these things, our reminder that “We do not wrestle against flesh and blood” (Ephesians 6:12) perhaps suggests that the most effective way to wage spiritual warfare today would be for us to more quickly and freely forgive because it truly has the power to set us free, to heal us, disarm the enemy and prevent the enemy getting a-hold of us!

Perhaps the wound for you is still fresh, and you need time to process all that’s happened. Maybe you’ve been holding on to bitterness for a long time, and God is asking you to let go. If that’s you, I encourage you to pray, trust God, ask Him to help you. I know it’s not easy but You won’t regret, it. God will be able to start to mend your heart, restore your mind and set you free from the chains of your past, however small or big; nothing is too hard for God.

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.